Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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