he puts the penis in happiness.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
