Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
