Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I will be naked everywhere
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
