But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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