Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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