Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you had me at cake vodka
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
