I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
