Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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