I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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