So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
