My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
kristin has been a bad kristin
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
