hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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