420 ftw
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize