Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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