just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
