She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
