OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
