My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
