I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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