there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
