The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
