Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
