so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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