two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
