so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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