i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
