I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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