Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
