i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
