sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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