Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
