So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
