oh god the rape fog is back!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
