Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize