yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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