i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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