dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
