u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
