Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize