i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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