Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize