he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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