next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
