Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

White coat. Heels.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week

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(317): View more from Indiana

that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.

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(979): View more from Texas

I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.

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(530): View more from California

I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..

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(773): View more from Illinois

this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..

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