Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
