I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
