Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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