Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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