Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
