i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize