I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize