i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
