Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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