Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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