Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
should my penis look like a turkey
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
