so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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