..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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