I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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