Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
