He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize