what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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