I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
