Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
